


nothing's changed

by beebolovesyou



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Reveal, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 08:36:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16552475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beebolovesyou/pseuds/beebolovesyou
Summary: where Lillian has a plan to out Kara as Supergril to Lena.





	nothing's changed

When they finally manage to see each other again it’s at Kara’s apartment, after a long week of work. Lena waits nervously for the door to open, hands loaded with Chinese food. When the door swings open the view is all bright smile and fluffy pink sweater.

“Hi, Lee” Kara says before relieving her from the heavy bags in a swift motion and planting a kiss on her left cheek “come in”

Lena can only nod dumbly and close the door behind her. Lena wants to slap herself for being so stupid, she's is the only one crushing here, so for Kara to be worried about some non-platonic interactions makes no sense. A soft touch on her arm pulls her into reality, her eyes snapping up to find Kara’s, inside her head a bad joke is made about blue being the warmest color and she can feel her face going red so damn quickly. Really, now Luthor? So inappropriate.

“Thanks for the food. You are a total savior, because my usual place was not picking up” Kara’s warm hand moves over her arm and tugs tentatively at the purse on her shoulder, Lena lets her take it. “Had a rough day?” Kara asks after setting the purse down on the kitchen stool behind them, hand making its way back to Lena’s forearm.

Lena makes a confirming noise, still lost for words, Kara gives her an adoring stare and proceeds to encase her on a tight hug, chin resting on a crown of raven hair and arms around the shorter girl.

“Me too. Maybe we can just relax and forget about it tonight?” Kara offers and feels Lena nodding against her chest shortly after. It’s at times like this when the Kryptonian remembers how much weight the youngest Luthor carries around every day, how sometimes she looks so tired and vulnerable that she just wants to shield her form the world. The fact that Lena allows herself to drop the facade of being unbothered by said weight around her is a gift Kara delights on, so she makes her best effort to give the comfort Lena craves, the one no one ever showed her before, even if her friend tries to hide it.

With a final kiss to the brunette’s forehead Kara reluctantly steps away to work on their food. Lena walks over to the couch and puts on the local news while she waits for her friend, it’s a well-practiced routine they have acquired since the regular dinner dates started two months ago. Kara offers her a plate, with the exact choices and proportions Lena would have made for herself, and even if it’s a rather simple gesture that could go unnoticed, it doesn’t. Because Lena is always hyper aware of every nice thing Kara does for her, how easily she reads into the small details.

“So, what’s new?” Kara asks while shoveling food in her mouth.

“Eh, what? Nothing, just the usual stuff” she answers way too quickly, trying to calm down and conceal her feelings. It doesn’t sound like Kara is insinuating anything after all. Lena plays with her chopsticks in order to disguise the odd response.

“Okay. Have any investors called yet?”

“Just a few dozen” Lena shrugs

“Is this one of those times you use indeterminate dozens to not actually tell me there are hundreds?” Kara pokes her side playfully with a finger.

“Maybe” she confesses shyly, overwhelmed by the absolute look of pride on Kara’s face, who's already trying to say something, Lena cuts her off before Kara can make an excessively sweet comment that makes her blush “I got a bomb on my mail too”

“YOU GOT A WHAT?” Kara’s eyes bulge aggressively “are you okay? What the hell happened? I swear if this is Edge again I will personally make sure to- to… well, he’s in jail but I will do something to that vile excuse of man and-“

“it wasn’t Edge, love” Lena intervenes, not even chastising herself on the endearing term anymore, Kara doesn’t bat an eye either “it was some fanatic guy enchanted by Lex’s viewings. my security team got to it before it reached the elevator, it was actually quite good for a homemade thing if you ask me. Valid effort”

“Why would he do that?” Kara’s crinkle is in full display and Lena can hear in her voice how upset she is.

“There was a note, it seems they believe that I am an undesirable threat.” She explains

“A threat? To who?” Kara shakes her head baffled

“The original and sole purpose of my brother’s enterprise”

The reporter blinks rapidly in disbelief

“That’s just… so rude” Kara finally says in an outraged tone that has the other woman snorting.

“I guess. Sorry for mentioning it, I didn’t meant to upset you. Don’t think too much of it.” She tries to dismiss it, worried that she’s put her friend on a weird mood. A hand makes a stroke on her thigh, and Lena heats up in a fourth of second. Kara is close, so close that the couch feels small and crowded, and it is hard for Lena to cover up her reaction to such vicinity. Not that it is an unusual thing in their relationship, but she’s still unsure of how to relax around the very physical blonde without succumbing to certain desires.

“Lee?” Kara calls softly, hand still firmly on slack covered thighs. Lena looks up to her, heart racing loudly. “I know a lot of people are saying stuff about you all the time, waiting for you to go bad and do horrible things.” Lena ducks her head down at the reminder, but a strong set of fingers pull her chin upwards. She doesn’t want to feel ashamed about it, but if people say it… isn’t it prove she hasn’t been good enough? Her eyes refuse to focus on the reporter’s. If she isn’t good enough then she can’t keep Kara. If she’s not good enough then she doesn’t deserve her.

Eventually, after some searching, blue eyes find green ones. Kara always knows how to find her.

“I don’t care what other people say. They have no idea of who Lena Luthor actually is. None of them have seen you cry, none of them have heard you laugh. Not a single one of them have met the woman that sits for hours besides children’s hospital beds.” Kara speaks with fierce admiration. “But I do. It amazes me how brave and smart you are, how kind and compassionate. Loyal, decided, strong and so, so good. I could literally write ten articles about it. So no matter what, I will always believe in you.”

For a moment Lena is unresponsive, has no idea what to say or do. Then a wave of emotion hits her and she’s pretty sure her eyes are watering.

“Kara…I-I don’t-“her voice breaks. Taking a deep breath she tries again. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you as my friend, but I couldn’t be more grateful” it’s not nearly enough to express how she feels right now, but is the only thing she can pull out of her mouth. Kara gives her a huge smile and brushes some fallen hairs away from Lena’s face, then she easily maneuvers her into her arms. They stay like that, cuddled on the couch and skipping mindlessly over TV commercials.

Sudden missing warmth wakes her up, her back complaining over the uncomfortable surface. Outside there is a flash of light that frightens her, closely followed by loud thunder.

“Hey” Kara walks out of the kitchen carrying a glass of water

“Hey” Lena mumbles, sleepy. Kara hands her the glass gently “thanks”

“Sorry, I think I let us fall asleep, and now it’s pouring outside. It’s like one am” Kara says as she stares at the windows. “Your driver is still around?”

“No, I sent him home early. I’ll just call for a cab” Lena goes for her purse, and looks for her phone

“What? No, no, no. it’s too late, just stay over” Kara offers casually. Lena wants to decline the offer but gets cut off “I am not about to let you wander on a cab at this hour. No way.”

“Okay.” It’s all that Lena can say. She knows she will feel guilty about this in the morning, when she’s fell even deeper for Kara Danvers. But she doesn’t want to trade the reassuring presence of Kara for the cold of her empty apartment.

Kara gives her a new toothbrush and spare cotton sleepwear, before going to clean up their used dishes. When she comes back Lena is hovering in the room hesitantly, the pajamas too long, without the high heels the girl looks shorter and somehow younger. Kara is already on a pair of shorts and tank top, she seats on the bed while hooking her phone to the charger on the nightstand. Lena doesn’t move from where she’s standing at the bathroom door.

It’s only when Kara pushes the covers back that she realizes Lena is not getting into the bed.

“Okay. Come here. It’s getting quite late” Kara says in a simple manner that’s fucking with Lena’s head. Because clearly Kara is not nearly overthinking this as hard as she is, sure thing they have cuddled on the couch before and Lena thinks she’s learned how to help herself in that situation. But a bed? That sound like a level her body it’s not ready for. Maybe if she just stays out of Kara’s immediate space it’ll be fine.

They lay in silence for a while before Lena dares to look at Kara, but when she does Kara is already staring at her. A yawn leaves her mouth and Lena suddenly remembers how tired she is, Kara scoots closer and opens her arms carelessly. Lena doesn’t have time to second guess herself before her body instinctively merges with the offered warmth, and it’s almost alarming the way her whole being feels complete in Kara’s arms. The blonde holds on tight, griping onto Lena’s midriff, humming happily with closed lids.

“Goodnight, Lee.”

“Goodnight, Kara”

____________

Since that time, Lena has been getting highly acquaintance with Kara’s apartment. Staying the night turns into a normal event, along with chatting over breakfast on the kitchen counter. Just like they are doing now.

“Just admit it, there is no superior meal than dessert” Kara insists placing a cup of black coffee beside Lena.

“Dessert is not a meal, Kara.” Green eyes rolling back.

“It is, if I want it to be.”

Just as she is ready to reprimand Kara’s dietary structure, there’s a knock on the door. The blonde swallows a mouthful of pancakes and walks to the door with stumpy steps, although less effective due to the fluffy slippers, annoyed someone is interrupting her quality time with food.

“Why are you pouting at me? I brought you bagels, and I swear the bakery girl thinks I am feeding a whole family whit- oh” Alex stops all together.

Lena squirms awkwardly in her stool, raises a saluting hand nervously. They have talked before, casual conversations and other more professional ones, but they don’t talk all that frequently. Alex has a curious look on her face, maybe even suspicion Lena thinks. However when the woman looks at her litte sister’s bright smile, her stand softens.

“Hi, Lena. Sorry for interrupting, didn’t knew you were around” Alex says while passing the bagels to Kara, who squeaks excitedly. She sits on the stool next to Lena’s and gives her a gentle pad on the back. Kara is already munching a bagel and serving her sister a cup of coffee.

“So… how is work going for you?” Lena asks trying to make quick conversation. She remembers seeing Alex running towards Supergirl, not too long ago, while the hero laid unmoving on the pavement. Alex  throws her sister a quick glance.

“Good. Trying to make progress on an investigation, about some biological subjects.” Alex states simply. Lena nods, she knows that biological subject is a subtle term for alien.

“Yours?” “Oh…good. Sam has been a lot of help while I get used to Catco. Kara too, I don’t think I could get the hang of it without her.”

Kara reaches for her hand over the table and Lena welcomes it gladly with her own. They stick like that, Lena sipping her coffee, while Kara eats her bagels, hands resting together above the table. Alex looks over the scene with slight confusion, before downing her coffee and going for another cup.

“You only brought me four bagels?” Kara complains when she empties the bag. Alex scoffs behind her, purring herself more coffee.

“Do you even know how expensive it is to feed you? Look at that, you didn’t even offered Lena a bagel.” Alex reproofs. Standing beside Kara and looking at her with narrowed eyes. The youngest sister stares back with flushed cheeks, then she moves her gaze to Lena.

“I-I, sorry Lee” she says apologetically. Lena squeezes her hand soothingly

. “I was already full anyways.” The raven haired girl provides dismissively.

Alex ruffles Kara’s hair with a laugh.

“We wouldn’t want you hungry, you get so grumpy.” Alex teases. Kara looks back at her with a childish grin, and when Alex tries to get back to her stool Kara stops her, resting her head on her side like a puppy. So Alex stays put and strokes blonde messy hair.

The whole thing is quite endearing and Lena can’t help but feel warm inside. Maybe Kara’s constant display of physical affection is a thing she does with everybody, maybe it’s just how Kara is. Maybe Lena doesn’t really have to worry about showing too much predilection for her friend’s touch, after all, Kara won’t think much of it because is her normalcy.

They talk for another ten minutes, and then Alex excuses herself to go to work. Lena realizes she’s really late for the office too. She says bye to Kara, who still has an hour before she needs to be at work. They hug for at least a minute before letting go, and even then Kara keeps Lena’s hand claps in hers until she tells her she really has to get to work

__________

She’s edging towards the wine bottles when her phone goes off. Kara’s familiar face staring back at her on the screen.

“Lee?” Kara’s voice comes fast.

They haven’t really seen each other lately, with all that’s going on Lena barely has time to take care of anything.

“Hello, love. How is my favorite musical nerd doing?” Lena jokes tiredly. The fond laugh her friend gives is enough to lighten her mood substantially.

“My nerdy heart misses you a lot” Kara says sincerely. It makes Lena blush still.

“I miss you too. Sorry about not being around much, there’s just so much going on.”

“Oh yeah… Supergirl said- emmm- you guys are working together? Saving the world and all, seems to be your motto” Kara’s voice sounds uneasy. Lena feels a flash of irritation over whatever gossip the all mighty Kryptonian has been spreading about her.

“Yes. Although I think she would prefer to work with anyone that is not me. Sadly, our partnership has taken some turns.” Lena tries to sound unaffected. She can’t really imagine Kara siding with the girl of steel, but if it happens Lena is going to be destroyed to the core.

Silence covers the line for a while, Kara collecting her thoughts before saying anything.

“So, what you said in the elevator?”

“Never meet you idols, it’ll only lead to disappointment. Still standing by it. The only reason I am working with her is for the greater good.” Lena means every word, she can’t ever trust Supergirl again.

“Didn’t she apologized for…what she did? I know it doesn’t make up for it but-“

Lena scoffs loudly “I should have known she would try to make you pick sides.” Lena can hear the hurt in her own tone.

“What? No, she didn’t… Lena I would never-“Kara stops abruptly like a realization just hit her. Lena can hear her swallow heavily. “I am always on your side. No matter what.”

It makes Lena’s heart leap of joy. She knows there’s something underneath it, the way Kara says it, and the tired breath that follows it. It can’t be good. But Lena turns a blind eye…maybe she just doesn’t want to know why it feels off.

______________

Shit goes down on a Wednesday afternoon, when things give the impression to be as calm as they can get. That’s the day Lena can’t keep turning a blind eye, and she learns the unavoidable.

They are supposed to be having a normal lunch, like they do so often huddled on the white couch of her office. Then there’s a quiet thud outside the door that Lena is ready to pass as irrelevant, but Kara spins around in abrupt panic. A muffled fuck leaves the blonde's lips, which is all too surprising for Lena, but she doesn’t get a chance to say anything before the door is burst open.

A single man slips inside, gun ready to shoot and end her. Kara steps in the way just as he pulls the trigger. Lena wails in fear. However, the gust of red never arrives. Instead the bullet bounces off Kara’s chest and ricochets straight back to the man, squares him in the leg and he drops to the ground with a groan.

Kara removes her glasses and checks, it looks like the bullet avoided hitting important arteries. A gasp reclaims her attention from behind, turning around she meets glassy green eyes. Lena looks at her with an expression of utter betrayal that Kara knows is going to hunt her from now on.

A second latter a rolling object comes through the door dragging a torrent of vibrant green smoke. Kara’s knees fail as she feels the burn of needles on her usually invulnerable skin. She goes down with a last whisper of Lena’s name on her lips.

For the first couple of seconds Kara doesn’t understand why the world is solid black. Then her body caches up to the rough feeling of metal on her wrists and itchy fabric on her face, she tries to listen out for an indication of where she might be. However, her super hearing is not there and neither can she peak trough the hood covering her head via x-ray vision.

So evaluating the situation, she’s restrain to a chair and basically blind. Her ankles are free though, her flats still in place. Kara moves them stomping as loudly as possible, if the echo she gets back is anything to judge for, the room is large and mostly empty. Still, she can’t hear any cars nearby.

A tread of steps denotes she’s got company, before the hood is lifted. There’s no flash of light given the darkness of the room, the strongest source of light is the somber green that’s encrusted on thick irons trapping her wrists down to the arms of the chair. Kara flexes her fingers, it doesn’t exactly hurt, but she feel exhausted and dizzy.

“Delightful nap, Supergirl?” the mocking tone pulls a shiver out of Kara.

“Usually my naps involve less kryptonite to be honest” her voice sounds raw. Looking around the room Kara confirms is a large space and the only thing in it is herself, tied to a damn chair. She ties pulling at the metal restrains with no luck

. “Is a low grade. It will keep you civil for now, so we can have a proper talk”

“What do you want, Lillian? Aren’t you supposed to be in jail?” Kara spits out, annoyed at the Luthor’s smug grin.

“I don’t know if ’supposed’ would be the word to use. You can put me there as many times as you want, Zor-El. We both know the permanent solution…diverges from your moral code” Lillian notes, hands tucked in the pockets of a blazer that’s probably more expensive than Kara’s whole closet.

Kara stays quiet for a while, trying to think a way out of this. But powerless and tied up, the options are fading. Lillian just stares at her impassively, like she’s got all the time in the world. Ultimately she decides juts to play along.

“So, this thing you want to talk about. Does it have anything to do with why you just tried to murder Lena? Again. I swear if you’ve done anything to her” Kara says, words filled with anger.

“I wasn’t going to kill my daughter.” Lillian states calmly.

“So what the heck was that about? Sending a mercenary after her, he could have killed her” the blonde thrashes on the chair, fury on every feature of her face.

“No he couldn’t have, because you were there.”

Kara looks at the woman in complete shock, every muscle on her body tenses.

“You knew I was there” the Kryptonian speaks in a defeated manner “so you set this all up to out me to your daughter?”

“Ever since Lena was a child I have been attempting to teach her a very important lesson. That a Luthor should never trust a Super, only themselves.”

Kara laughs humorlessly

“You want to know what you did? You made her second guess everything that she does in order to please you. That’s what you did. And now that you’ve lost your favorite child to madness, now you dare to come into her life to do exactly what? Turn her into you? She’s smarter than that” her speech is unyielding and adamant. Lillian’s lips twitch slightly at the mention of Lex but she keeps steady.

“Lena will understand now that I’ve showed her reason. She’ll see that you are nothing but an opportunistic liar, we will erase you together, along the filth of all your kind.”

“Hence why I am here? To erase me… to kill me” Kara says puffing her chest. Lillian just laughs, slender fingers slide out of the cardigan pocket and play with strands of blonde hair. Kara turns her head, wanting as much distance as possible between her and Lillian’s tall frame.

“Is a tempting offering, but I would be more satisfied if I had your cousin’s head. Besides, it would be very rude for me to take that away from Lena. I think she will enjoy it quite greatly now she knows who you really are”

Kara feels sick at the mere implication. “Lena would never. No matter how hard you tried, she didn’t turned out like you. I know you’re trying to replace Lex, but she’s never going to be him…or you.”

“We will find out.” Lillian says with such simplicity, like she’s talking about a football game. Then there’s a loud exploding sound somewhere in the building, followed by gun shots. The older woman makes a small sound of displeasure and then walks off behind her. Kara hears steps drift off, a final declaration directed towards her

“I did told you she would hate you for it.”

It takes a couple seconds for Alex to reach the room, Lillian Luthor is gone and Kara has a look that might as well be the embodiment of distress. She runs immediately to her sister’s side, dropping aside the rifle, hands tugging at the kryptonite bounds.

“Kara, the kryptonite, are you hurt?” Alex speech is frantic, auburn hair slightly ruffled as a result of fighting her way inside the building.

“No. I am fine” Kara mumbles, the disorientation on her eyes increasing Alex’s worry. “What happened? Did she draw blood or anything?”

A group of DEO agents storm inside, Alex makes a concise tactical hand movement and two of them proceed to investigate in the direction Lillian left. Another agent comes over with a hacksaw. Alex makes room for him to cut through the metal, Kara is grateful she still stands close and keeps a hand on her shoulder.

“How did you find me?”

“I’ll always find you, dummy.” Alex says sternly, kissing Kara’s forehead. “But I did had help. Our systems weren’t picking up any kryptonite radiation, but Lena said they had definitely used it to abduct you. She deduced it was too low grade to be picked up, so she and Brainy were redesigning the whole thing to pick up smaller signals.” Alex explains over the sound of the saw.

Kara throat feels dry “Lena… redesigned the whole system?”

“Yeah, I mean they were on it. We got an anonymous call saying you were here.” the sawing stops, and her wrist are free. Kara rises, wanting to be off the dark room as quick as possible. Alex pulls one of her sister’s arms around her shoulders to steady her, they walk together out the building.

Outside the sun shines brightly, Kara basks in it and lets it chase the remaining dizziness away.

“It was Lillian. The call, it had to be her.” Kara says, jaw tight. Alex gives her a puzzuled look.

“Why would she kidnap you, to then let you go?”

Kara looks briefly at the sky, wonders if she can just take off. Take off and forget about the betrayed look on her favorite pair of green eyes.

“Because she knows this is worst” the world gets blurry. She’s crying. “Worse than anything else she could have done to me”

___________________

 

They ride back to the DEO, Alex shirt is stained on the spot were Kara cried after telling her about Lillian’s actual plan. J’onn says Lena left without explanation as soon as they confirmed Kara’s save extraction over the radio, the Kryptonian hopes crumble.

Alex insists on keeping her under the sun lamps at least an hour, while she testes the kryptonite on the lab, leaving no room for argument. Honestly, Kara is way too tired, so she lays mindlessly surrounded by the golden light. Unfortunately, the mindless part only lasts about a minute before her brain points out the magnitude of her screw up, and she starts replaying the image of Lena like a damn video recorder.

Here, in the solitude of the med bay, it feels like waking up after red K. it feels like a monstrous part of her creeped out, and there’s no way to justify it. The toughest part is she can’t even blame Lillian for showing Lena the truth she herself selfishly denied her.

She picks up the steady beating of Lena’s heart across the city. So normal sounding, Kara almost can pretend nothing has changed. Except everything has changed.

When her call goes directly to voicemail for the tenth time, that’s when the tears threat to come rushing again. She covers her eyes angrily, it feels selfish to cry now, to be so overwhelmed with sadness when the only one badly hurt is Lena. Such an unbearable notion, that she’s the one to hurt her, Kara can only be grossed out towards herself for this inexcusable mistake.

She cries anyway.

“Kara?” Alex puts a comforting hand over her stomach. Something she does since they were both just kids, in occasions where the younger girl is so sad she almost feels like throwing up. Kara flinches away though, thinking she doesn’t deserves it.

Alex doesn’t say anything, but withdrawals her hand. Stands there attentive, until Kara drops her hands form her face. A couple long minutes later Kara finally moves, sitting up in the tiny medical bed. Alex goes for the easy topic first.

“So, I analyzed the kryptonite on the cuffs, as we thought it was a pretty low grade. The formula is quite…particular.” Alex lifts her right hand where the item rests. The green has faded from its glowing signature color to a dull tone, looks more like a dead rock and despite the proximity Kara is unaffected by it.

“How?” blonde brows rise in surprise. “Did you made it inert?”

Alex shakes her head. “My guess is that Lillian made it, but she didn’t quite got the mineral to be as accurate as her daughter’s. It’s better than the unstable kryptonite she crafted for Metallo, however, it loses effectiveness exponentially. I don’t know how long, maybe 12 to 24 hours, and then is harmless” Alex explains.

Kara holds the cuff expectantly, but it does nothing other than rest in her palm lifeless. “Disposable kryptonite then” Kara hands it back.

“I mean, still terrible news. It can still hurt you if she manages to make it with higher radiation levels” Alex pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs heavily. “can I just kill her already?”

Kara’s lips tug up slightly at the question, but she can’t bring herself to smile fully. If anyone could make her smile now (as miserable as she is feeling) it could only be Alex, or… Lena. Her eyes drift off to the black screen of her phone.

“She’s not answering?” Alex asks, a tentative hand coming to rest beside hers, pinkies touching in case Kara still doesn’t want to be touched too much right now.

“No. why would she” Kara can’t really find a single motive.

“Then perhaps you should find her, and talk”

“And tell her what, Alex?” Kara ask frustrated.

Alex just shrugs. “Whatever you been wanting to say”

______________

It takes another two hours for her to even dare set foot on Lena’s proximity, she makes her way inside surprisingly easy, greeting casually the security staff she’s already familiar with. The biometric scaner in the elevator still works for her as usual and she ends up in Lena’s penthouse with zero trouble, all of which indicates that Lena isn’t really trying to keep her away. Should she be hopeful?

When her knuckles connect with the door, it creak’s open and worry flickers through Kara’s body. She finds the steady and unique betting of Lena’s heart, the one that never fails to calm her. Inside the lights are dimmed, the balcony open and letting the night breeze run through the place. On the table rests Lena’s phone, untouched.

Lena is standing by the kitchen isle, raven hair framed strongly by the whiteness of the room. She’s barefoot but still on working clothes, Kara takes a deep breath before stepping on what she thinks is about to be the most terrifying rollercoaster of her life.

“Lena?” Kara calls, the most ingenuous part of her awaiting for that smile Lena always gives her when she enters a room. In exchange the look she gets is a freezing side glance, and the rise of a very critical eyebrow. Lena looks disappointed and it shatters her already bleeding heart.

“I was under the impression you were to drop the pretense” the tone is monotone, detached.

“Pretense?” Kara asks fearfully.

Lena nods “The one of concerned friend, it’s all over your face. You’re a better liar than I ever foreseen” a glass of wine makes a sudden apparition behind her figure, deep red held by pale elegant fingers, glass full but bottle empty.

Kara shakes her head vehemently, eager to explain. “That’s not a lie, Lena. I am your friend, and of course I am concerned. You are drinking, and how come you didn’t close the door? What if someone was trying to kill you and-“

“Would it matter?” Lena cuts her short, eyes fixated on the wine glass “if I am truly what they think I am…what you think that I am, would it matter?” Kara lets out a choked gasp, whatever hole Lena has buried herself in, she needs to get her out now. She steps closer, Lena follows the movement with such distrusting eyes that Kara rises her hands in defeat and stays still.

“It matters, because you aren’t what they think. It matters because the world would be worse without you, Lena. I- my world, would be unbearable without you” Kara knows it’s a strong statement, but she means it to her core. The very reason she is here is because losing Lena can’t be and won’t be an option.

Lena shuts her eyes tightly for a second, a visible crack on her otherwise icy manner. She tries to recover by taking big gulp of her wine.

“You surely defend me a whole fucking ton for somebody who deemed me a criminal not too long ago.” Lena says dryly.

“Lee, I am sorry, I made the stupidest mistake a-and I just want to fix it” Kara’s voice falters.

“A mistake?” Lena’s jaw is tense “you have purposefully lied to me the whole time we’ve known each other, and then you went on to treat me like I was…well, like I was Lillian, while I was trying to help Sam, the only other friend that I have left.”

“I didn’t meant to” Kara whines, panic swerving though her veins.

“You didn’t meant to?” Lena looks straight at her “what are you? a child? Poor Supergirl she doesn’t have control over her own actions” she mocks, Kara wants to say something but finds no words to defend herself. Lena leans forward for a moment as if bracing herself, Kara can tell that her poker face is starting to crumble as she gets increasingly angrier.

“Why? Was it all just a scheme to get close to me? Keep an eye on the youngest Luthor maniac? Because otherwise I don’t understand how… how you could do that to me? To switch like that, to look at me like I am a monster, after all the things I told you. After how I trusted you?” her voice is dancing on a dangerous territory, almost screaming. Hands fisted with fury, icy look quickly melting to reveal blistering green fire.

Kara stumbles forward, urging to ease Lena’s pain. In response Lena throws the glass at her, it collides with the firm plexus of her invulnerable chest and shatters, in a rain of crystal that washes down to the ground. So there she stands surrounded by broken glass, the hurt she feels mirrored on the sight of Lena, whose chest is expanding and contracting rapidly, forehead veins popping out.

“You promised to be my friend but you only wanted to use me, WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR LOYALTY? YOUR TRUST?” Lena reaches over to the counter, and only then does Kara notice the small cardboard box besides the wine bottle. She wants to react in some way when she understands what Lena is holding but is too late, unsheathed the green glow of the knife spreads through the room, as well as Kara’s own skin.

The burn spreads quickly too, Kara groans as her knees clash with the floor, flesh ripping open on the broken glass. Waves of pain taking over her body, it’s familiar and scary. With the little strength she’s got left, Kara looks up to Lena.

She expects to see more anger, however when she finally catches a look of the other woman it’s a different story. Lena is terrified, her hands are shaking uncontrollably and her body is holding a weird stance as if it debating between going for Kara or stay put. The knives is not even actually pointing towards the blonde, but rather resting weirdly on Lena’s palm, blade facing away form Kara.

Clearly this is not Lena’s idea.

“I-I take it Lillian send you a gift?” Kara says, looking between the knife and the box. Lena swallows slowly, tears already forming in her eyes. “Lena, look at me please” green eyes meet hers, fretful and frightened and soft and beautiful. Kara gives her a small smile (gods, does she loves her).

“I trust you. With my life” Kara says wholeheartedly “I trust you, Lena”

Lena has an expression of total astonishment, then it twists into guilt. The knife goes back into its sheath, the green fades away from Kara’s veins in an instant. Then Lena breaks down, sobbing fairly quietly on the floor. Kara goes to hold her, and Lena allows it.

Kara begins to rock them both, a slow, soothing sway that Lena instinctively follows. . In her tight, forgiving hold, Lena allows herself to unravel. She let Kara take her weight, tension unspooling. Kara presses a kiss to her forehead, tucks Lena’s head under her chin, and keeps her there until Lena gives herself over to the comfort of Kara’s strength.

When Lena finally goes quiet, Kara can feel how much the mood has shifted. Lena mutters something about her legs, and it hits her that they have been in this awkward position for at least twenty minutes, that can’t possibly be comfortable for any human. So she picks Lena up and carries her to the sofa, the other woman only lets out a little huff of breath in mild surprise. Kara settles Lena gently and then brings her a glass of water that Lena receives silently.

They sit and don’t say anything for a while. It isn’t until Lena empties her water and sets the glass down that Kara choses to speak, worried that Lena might slip right back into numbness or fury.

“Can I say some things, now?” Kara asks carefully, ready to take it back in case Lena doesn’t want to. Lena considers it for a little bit before nodding.

“Okay. I just-, well this is tougher than I thought” Kara struggles, Lena looks at her patiently (considering what just happened). Kara tries again.

“You’re right. The lying, I know that wasn’t a mistake, it was a choice. At first it was because I didn’t knew you, and I had only ever revealed my secret to people I knew and trusted. Not that I thought you were evil then, you were so witty and confident and so beautiful, if anything I was intrigued…captivated.” Lena blushes at the compliments, and Kara makes a mental memo to tell Lena every little beautiful thing about her.

“And then I started to know you better, you exceeded all of my expectations. All the things that I had heard about you, the image that they painted of you it paled in comparison to what I found you to be. This wonderful woman crashed into my life and became my best friend, wining my trust over so quickly.” The dreamy look on Kara’s face dips as she considers her next words. “But I kept on lying to you.”

“Why?” Lena asks, no longer raging but still hurt. Kara aches to touch her but is still too afraid of making an advance that might upset her.

“Firstly I was reluctant because it could put you in danger, knowing who I am… and I understand that your life isn’t absent of danger, but how could I willingly put you at even more risk?” Kara feels the tears welling up in her eyes, but powers trough “everyone that I love is in this constant line of fire because of my identity as Supergirl, J’onn, Winn, James, Alex…Rao, I don’t even want to think how many times Alex has almost died.” She’s thought about it, with increasing frequency.

Lena slides a hand over the couch and lets it rest close to Kara’s, it’s a silent offering. Kara hurries to take it, grateful for the reassuring feeling of Lena’s skin and the pulse underneath it.

“So this was about protecting me then?” Lena inquires

“Partly, yeah. I did wanted to tell you, the whole time I swear. There was this big secret I had imposed on us; sometimes I wanted to talk to you about something that was going on and I couldn’t say anything to you, the person I wished to share everything with, the person I knew would understand. And-“

“And?” “This may not make sense to you but…I can be human around you. Everybody else sees me as this all mighty, always moral hero, keeping up with those expectations is exhausting. Last year was a nightmare because I was trying so hard to bury my human side and to fulfill those expectations. But with you I don’t have to” the crinkle in between her brows is making an apparition.

“Alex?” Lena asks with curiosity. Kara lets out a small chuckle.

“Alex has never viewed me as human, first because she detested me and now because she loves me too much. To her I will always be Kara Zor-El, the sad little girl that saw her planet explode, and she’ll always aim to protect me.” The content of her words could sound bitter, but Kara is smiling, stroking slowly the back of Lena’s hand with her thumb.

“So, you thought that telling me the truth would change that” Lena assumes.

“Yes. Also that you would hate me. Which you are totally entitled to do, i- telling you this isn’t me trying to justify anything. It was wrong, the lies and then -oh Rao- the judging.” Kara brings a hand to her face, ashamed. “I don’t even know why I did that, I acted like a selfish child. I guess I was just so scared that you actually wanted to hurt me, because I know I wouldn’t have the heart to stop you…to fight you”

Lena pushes the hand away from Kara’s face and taps on her chin for her to look up. Her face is so resembling of a guilty puppy, Lena almost succumbs on the urge to kiss it all away.

“I don’t want to ever hurt you, Kara.” Lena’s afraid it doesn’t sound believable given her earlier actions, her eyes going back to the knife resting on the kitchen counter and then to the ripped fabric of Kara’s pants. The punctures made by the glass are already closed but the stain of crimson blood is a vivid reminder that brings a pulse of repulsion over herself.

“Gosh, I didn’t meant to hurt you. I am so dumb.” She can feel the burn of tears. Kara scoots closer swiftly hands pulling on Lena’s waist until she’s basically on top of her.

Hands reaching for her cheeks, swiping away a stray tear. “I didn’t meant to hurt you either. I am so sorry” Kara whispers while blue eyes wonder over beautiful factions, the air heavy all of the sudden.

Lena stares right back at her, miserable expression replaced by a hopeful one. Kara leans in, searching for any sings of rejection on the other girl, but Lena only follows her dutifully. They’re incredibly close now, noses bumping and eyes closed.

“Kara?” Lena whispers so strangled, and Kara knows this is how she offers an out, for them to stay in the friendly territory, so nothing has to change for them. The thing is, everything has changed. All except one thing, the only thing that Kara can’t fathom ever changing, how much she cares about Lena.

She tells her so, voice husky she enounces “I love you.”

Lena can’t even start to process the words because Kara is kissing her firmly, hands tugging on her waist to bring her closer. Kara tastes so sweet, Lena emits a thrilled hum into the kiss while holding on to toned arms for dear life. Lena pleads for it to never end, and somehow Kara listens and gives and gives. Until human lungs run out of air and they are forced to slip apart.

Kara backs away, ears ringing and heart racing thinking this is what love should've always felt like. Lena is a different picture whatsoever, eyelids still closed, brain unable to form any cohesive thought, but when she finally manages to open her eyes they are filled with disbelief. Kara can see it as clear as day, she wants to quill the anxious contemplation she knows Lena is having.

She grabs Lena’s hands, dropping kisses over open palms and then knuckles and reassures her “I love you, I meant it. I love you, Lee” she travels with soothing lips though her arms, and into the elegant curve of her neck, the marvelous shape of her jaw, the defined cheekbones. She’s kissing the trace of her chin when Lena gets back into reality.

Lena drags her hands over the back of Kara’s shoulders and slides them up the sides of her neck to guide her mouth to hers in a full kiss. Lena kisses her and kisses her, pouring every ounce of her heart into it. When she finally stops kissing her it’s only to continue catching her breath, looking perfectly windswept. Kara keeps pressing kisses into her lips, her cheeks, her chin, whispering I love you as softly and reverently as her prayers to Rao.

Kara can see the tiredness on the brunette’s shoulders, so she carries her to the bed and tries to let her rest, only to be dragged into the soft mattress. Lena all but flops on top of Kara’s chest and falls asleep, clearly exhausted with the eventualities of the day. Kara stokes soft raven hair until she also slips into unconsciousness.

it’s about four in the morning when Lena awakes, startled by footsteps. Kara is still sleeping soundly, which is not surprising to Lena since the hero has been proven a heavy sleeper over their frequent sleepovers. Lena untangles herself from the strong arms around her midriff, letting a soft peck on blonde curls and then wanders into the living room. When a familiar figure comes into view Lena curses under her breath.

“Well, good morning, Lena. Sleeping on work clothes now?” cat like eyes roaming over her body, making her feel inadequate.

“Mother” Lena crosses her arms defensively “how did you even got up here?”

Lillian smirks arrogantly “you should know better than to question a Luthor’s intellect” the mockery in her tone is infuriating, but oh so Lillian. Her mother moves towards the kitchen counter, picks up the carelessly placed knife.

Lena’s eyes go worriedly to the door behind her, where Kara sleeps unaware of the danger, she starts thinking maybe she should make a run for the safe where she keeps her gun. However, when Lillian draws the knife from its lead sheath the blade is a dull and grayish. A sound of disappointment leaves Lillian’s mouth.

“I didn’t quite managed to perfect the formula like you, care to give me some advice?” Lillian says, putting her hands on the pockets of her black blazer. “Perhaps share your own recipe”

Lena scoffs bitterly “as if I were to ever put such thing on paper, much less give it to you”

“that’s harsh, and I thought we were bonding” the woman edges closer, Lena feels small not only in stature but in spirit, no matter how hard she tries Lillian always knows what buttons to push to turn her back into a little girl desperate for motherly love. Long fingers brush dark hair behind her ear “but you always let feelings get the best of you, don’t you, Lena? I brought you a gift and you wasted it”

Lena averts from the touch, anger swelling up. “You mean you tried to manipulate me and you failed miserably. Whatever you wanted to win form this whole stunt, you ain’t getting it”

Lillian eyes stroll over the puddle of glass and blood on the floor, where Kara had fell earlier “I wouldn’t say miserably” Lena narrows her eyes in warning, Lillian sighs dramatically too expressive for her usual persona “my aim was to show you the truth, Lena. For you to finally learn you can’t trust aliens, let alone the house of El”

“You wanted me to kill her” Lena accuses.

“She has lied to you since she first met you, and she’ll continue to do so. This Kryptonian scum will only carry on using you, Lena. She already turned on you once, how longer until she does it again? Who is going to be on your side then?” Lillian speaks calmly.

“Oh fuck off, as if you cared at all. You’re the person who has lied and turned against me since I was child, and now you come here with this speech?” Lena spits the words in a frenzy “you don’t know her, you won’t ever get to because I plan on keeping her as far away from you as possible”

“That righteous Kryptonian and her family are the only reason you don’t have brother anymore, when I get my hands on her and Superman-“

Lena fists the soft silk of Lillian’s white blouse “you come anywhere near her and I swear I will make sure you never come out alive of the next cell they throw you into” Lena hisses and it sounds so true that Lena can see a flicker in the mask of impassivity, cracking to show uneasiness oddly mixed with pride.

“Kara Zor-El really has you this wrapped around her finger? You would never allow this insolence to anyone else, you are really considering to dead threat your mother over this foolish girl” Lillian face shapes into legitimate curiosity.

“I already have” Lena states, letting go of her mother. Lillian is about to retort something when her eyes sidetrack behind Lena, a twitch on her lips reveals her annoyance. Lena looks over her shoulder, Kara stands in the hallway, eyes turned into pits of molten lava and skin around them tinted angry orange, is like staring at a very pissed goddess.

“Get out” it’s a clear demand, no kindness behind it.

Lillian squints at Kara and then at Lena with a smirk, finally she turns around and makes her exit while checking her watch as if she has other business to attend.

Lena turns to face Kara, the heat-vision fading as she blinks rapidly letting blue eyes show.

Lena clears her throat before talking “you should go catch her”

“Yeah, I know” Kara walks over, hands jarring on her regular heroic stance “I’ll come back though, Okay?” Kara says while placing a hand over her cheek

“Okay. Please be safe” Lena implores, worrying about what Lillian might do.

“I am going to get some back up to the DEO first, we can track her from there if she has any kryptonite on her. You stay safe too and call me if anything happens, I promise I’ll be hearing.” Kara assures her.

Lena makes an approving noise, not at all pleased by Kara leaving to chase after her mother but glad she isn’t going by herself. Kara leaves a long kiss on the crown of dark hair before disappearing with a whoosh of wind.

______________

 

It’s around mid-morning, Lena is slurping at her third cup of coffee while reading over extensive documents for a project proposal when a tiny knock comes from the balcony door. Lena makes her way over trying to cover up the eagerness to see the reporter.

Kara is wearing her Supergirl suit, flawless golden curls swaying in the mild wind. She’s leaning against the balcony rail, hands twisting nervously the red cape when Lena finally slides the door open she snaps her head up.

Kara almost has a heart attack. Lena looks utterly adorable in her fluffy robe, hair in a messy bun and black frames perched on her nose, the ones Kara knows Lena only uses at home. They stare at each other for some elongated seconds before flipper clad feet make their way beside red boots.

“Hey” Lena greets taking the glasses off, leaning beside her looking out at the silhouette of National City.

“Hey” Kara responds, waving awkwardly.

Lena can only smile at her “how did it went?” she asks in a more serious tone.

“She’s in custody of the DEO” Kara says simply.

Lena makes a double take in surprise “really?”

“Yeah, weird right? I think she just let me catch her, she didn’t even used the kryptonite” Kara says fidgeting with a navy sleeve, Lena raises a skeptical brow before shaking her head, confused by her mother’s behavior.

They keep watching the outline of skyscrapers and busy streets for a while, lost on contemplation.

Kara breaks the silence “about last night, I uh- I wasn’t trying to excuse myself. If you want to hate me, you have every right to and I will do whatever is that you want.” She says while trying not to break down at the mere possibility. Then she moves closer, seeking green eyes and pouring all her honesty in the next words “but I need you to know that everything I said last night was true, and every last moment of our friendship was real. It’s always been real, Lena.”

Lena blinks in awe, feeling incredibly vulnerable. “even the last part?” she asks in a shaken voice.

Kara takes her hand and presses it against the crest of El, above her heart. “Especially the last part” she nods fervently “I love you. More than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything.”

“In like… a friendly way?” Lena questions, brain clearly overthinking.

Kara chuckles, finding Lena’s uncertainty endearing. “As in like I can’t stop thinking about kissing you again” Kara admits, hand squeezing Lena’s own over her racing heart “As in like I am so in love with you, Lena Luthor”

Lena is teary eyed, completely taken back by the fact that this is actually happening and not a fantasy of her subconscious creation, she can’t remember ever feeling so happy about anything in her life.

“Please say something” Kara begs, the waiting too scary.

“I love you too.” Lena lets through a huge smile, grabbing the suit’s material and pulling Kara closer.

Kara stumbles a bit, almost tripping over her own boots “Seriously? Like for real?” the blissful incredibility in her face is enough to strip away the last of Lena’s self-control and succumbs to the strong impulse to smash their lips together.

Kara follows her happily, enjoying the slight bitterness of coffee mixed with the sweetness that is Lena, gets lost in the feeling fluttering in her chest and the undeniable notion that this is where she belongs. Lena pulls away to catch her breath, then sneaking a few small kisses to glistening rosy lips.

“So does this mean I can take you on a date?” Kara asks excitedly, thumbs kneading rhythmically on Lena’s lower back.

Lena feels so damn smitten already, she hums in agreement “I’ll try to have a better outfit for that” Lena says jokingly.

Kara shakes her head intensely “no, no, no. you look like so hot right now, very hot- yes I- em could eat you because you are just so hot and pretty” Kara’s eyes bulge out at the realization of what she’s just said. “oh Rao, that’s not what…oh wait, actually I do mean that” she shuts up before she can embarrass herself more, hiding her blush on the amazing structure of Lena’s neck.

The other woman can only laugh. “How about you buy me dinner first, girl of steel?” Lena demands teasingly whilst scratching on blonde hair. Kara mumbles an ‘of course’ hotly against the pale skin of her neck and Lena shudders, maybe she does have something to thank Lillian for after all.


End file.
